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If them say make I talk true, before God and man, na Oga been cause the wahala for himself. E get as person go drag him luck reach, the thing sef go cut, tawaai! But them no dey follow elder argue something; you no fit correct your own teacher, so, as Oga say everything na Master Washer fault, all of us for shop just make kpim, nod head like agama lizard.

Even before I come here come learn work, Oga and Master Washer been dey close. Them be paddy-paddy. Them been dey help each other business. 

Master Washer shop dey downstairs, and Oga shop dey upstairs. Sometimes, Oga go send us with customer cloth go Master Washer shop for dry-cleaning. Sometimes, Master Washer go bring who wan sew cloth come our shop for upstairs. Na scratch my back; I scratch your back, the two of them been dey do, and e been dey good for their business. Other shops full plaza o; but na only two of them dey do business when relate to cloth, so, na only two of them been dey do this collabo.

But now, as yawa don gas, Oga don put all the blame on top Master Washer head. Oga dey talk say Master Washer suppose know the kind customers wey he dey carry give person.

My people dey talk say, if camel been know say the hump for him back go heavy am, e for no carry am for him back. That is to say, nobody know how something go turn out in future. Oga don forget this one, as he dey blame-blame Master Washer so. He don forget all the good times when Master Washer give am beta customers and wahala no come out. Hmmm. This life sef. Person fit do good one hundred times, but if he mistake do bad just one time, those hundred good don cancel. Na so life be o. My brother, na so life just be. 

~

I remember the day when Master Washer bring that man come our shop. Oga been dey very happy say customer don finally show. Market been never dey for some time, so, this new customer sweet Oga well-well.

Master Washer tell Oga say the man na him correct person, say he dey wash him cloth for am and the man no dey owe, say make Oga deliver for am o. Oga nod head wa-wa-wa, say, ‘But, of course!’

Na Oga way be that. If something don dey sweet am, he go begin speak big English when nobody send am. Once everywhere good, you no go fit differentiate between Oga and Professor Wole Soyinka. No be only English o, even him voice go change. The thing go come gallant, come get weight.

That day, as grammar dey flow, na so Oga dey move. E come be like say he wan agile pass cockroach when wan comot from room when dem spray insecticide. This na the same Oga when been never chop that morning o.

Under two seconds like this, Oga don bring out one of our fashion magazine, begin show the man different designs when dey reign. You know all those fashion magazines na, when dey carry picture of all those Nollywoood actors once they look sharp for correct native. Ehen! Those ones. 

The man sef na another thing. He just bone face, dey look the pictures when Oga dey show am, dey nod head small-small; he no talk anything.

I no go lie sha, na that day I suspect say the man go be slow-poison. My mama dey always talk that thing, say anybody when no too dey talk na slow-poison, and na them dey dangerous pass people when dey open mouth, waaa! 

Anyway, as their two dey watch the fashion magazine, the man begin point the styles when he go like sew. 

He go point one when Kunle Remi wear, ask whether Oga sabi am; Oga go nod head, say, ‘But, of course!’

He go point another one when Bucci Franklin wear, ask whether Oga go fit do the embroidery; Oga go nod head, say, ‘Absolutely!’

Na so their two do, do, do reach almost thirty minutes. By the time when them come finish, the man don pick four different styles. The man come ask how long e go take for Oga to make all the clothes. Na so Oga look ceiling, corner head go left like say he don dey see the future, come say, ‘In approximately two weeks’ time, I should be done.’

The man say he no carry any material come, say na Oga go buy the materials, come still sew all the clothes when them don talk about. Oga say, ‘That is not a problem.’

The man ask for price. Oga tell am. 

Normally, customers dey always drag price after you don tell them the cost of their work. They go drag price go left, drag am come back right. Some go begin tell you say them get family problem, say if not for one thing or the other, they for no sew this cloth. Like say you dey beg them to sew cloth. Some go squeeze face, talk say your price too high, accuse you say you no get human sympathy. Like say you put knife for their neck, dey force them to give you work. People eh. Human beings get as them dey do o.

Anyway, the man no drag. As Oga tell am price finish, he nod head, ask for Oga account number. From my small corner, I see the surprise for Oga face, but he hide am well, come call out him account number. Na so the man transfer the full amount one time, viaaa! Normally, even our big customers them dey do part-payment, but this man no stress; he pay everything at once. Na so Oga just shake him hand, begin thank am endlessly.

~

They say if you no follow hunter enter bush, you no go know say animal dey get family. That is to say, there is more to something than meets the eye. Shey na so oyibo dey talk am? Me sef I know big English small. Me sef I no small. Hehehe.

Anyway, back to our tori. So, normally eh, this our work get as e be. You fit tell person say you go finish im work in one week, the thing go come take you one month. You fit tell person na two weeks go do you to sew him cloth, you go come finish am in two days. The thing be like trick but no be trick. I no fit lie for you. E no even get how I wan explain am well give you. Unless you don carry scissors before, you no go fit understand am. Na so e just be, but we wey dey the profession, we know as we take dey manage ourselves.

So, e no surprise us for shop when after two weeks don pass, Oga never finish that man cloth. True-true, he been don buy all the materials keep o. He been don even cut them. He even use two of them take show us how them take dey cut kaftan. But the sewing gan gan, na that one Oga been never start.

That afternoon, as the man enter our shop, Oga no allow am sidan before he begin explain. He talk go up, talk come down. He say hunter shoot bird, im mama fly. He say snake been get belle, but day come break. As Oga dey drop bobo juice, the man no talk. If you been dey there and you look him face, you for see say vex full the man mind.

‘Okay, I’ve heard all you’ve said. When will they be ready?’ na so the man ask Oga after Oga don talk finish.

‘I’ll round up everything in one week,’ Oga talk.

‘One week?’ the man ask.

‘Absolutely, sir,’ Oga answer.

‘That’s alright,’ the man talk.

He come stand up, waka comot from our shop.

Another thing with this our work eh, na say work dey jam work for table. No be say person wan waste time on top one customer cloth o, but another customer fit come, bring work and their own fit be express, because, maybe them get wedding or burial when them dey go that weekend, so, you need attend to their own sharp-sharp.

Na wetin happen that week o. True-true Oga been wan dey focused on the man clothes, but Madam Favourite come come shop that week. And Oga no dey use Madam Favourite play at all, at all.

Anytime when Madam Favourite come our shop, Oga dey remind us say Madam Favourite be like him second mama for this life. According to Oga, na Madam Favourite canteen he first dey work when he come city. He been dey wash plate for the canteen, and Madam Favourite dey give am food chop, dey allow am sleep for there when night reach. So, now when he don get him own handwork, he no fit use Madam Favourite play at all, at all.

Madam Favourite bring six yards of adire material come shop that day. She say she dey serve food for one big man burial by weekend and the material na the burial asoebi. She say the children of the big man want make her servers wear the asoebi as them dey serve guests for the burial. She say make Oga use the material sew like three free-size shirts when her boys go wear.

Oga no even do like say work dey him hand. He just carry tape, carry scissors, tell Madam Favourite say no problem, say make she come by weekend come collect the shirts, say everything go dey ready.

All of us for shop just dey look, mueeh. Some things dey happen for this life when go be like film for your eye, but you no go get courage to raise question; to say, ‘Excuse me sir, no be problem be this so?’ 

Hmmm. My brother, na so that one week take go o. Oga no return to that man clothes. All of them just pack for one corner on top table, dey wait their turn when no gree reach.

~

Sometimes you go just dey on your own, you go know say bad thing wan happen. That day na so sun just dey hot like say angels them don add extra firewood for sky. Upon as fan dey blow, heat been still dey do us inside shop. I just know say wahala don wake up from wherever he been dey sleep.

Small time like this, the customer show. But this time, he come look very different from as we been dey see am before. Before eh, if the man dey come shop, he go wear normal cloth come. Shirt and knickers. Polo with trousers. This time eh, na him true colour the man just wan show us. This time, na uniform he wear. Proper khaki. Two younger officers follow am come, stand for im back like pillar. Anybody when see them go know say their mind no just good. From the man to the officers when follow am come, nobody dey shine teeth; all of them just bone face like say na only them this country dey pepper.

As Oga see them, Oga turn stammerer. The man just quiet dey look Oga. Oga begin explain. He talk go Karfanchan. He talk come back. He say he been dey sick. He say he been go village. He say our sewing machine been get problem. He say generator been spoil. E no get lie for this world when tailors dey normally use, when Oga no engage.

True to God, na only one sentence the man talk back. As Oga talk, talk, talk o; talk finish, the man just shake him head, turn to him men, come say, ‘Discipline him.’

Only that sentence o. But the thing come be like sentence true-true.

Na once they bundle Oga like this. Jack im leg up, jack im hand, carry am comot from shop. Oga dey beg them, dey say, he be family man; say he be breadwinner. The officers no send. They just carry Oga dey go, like people when dey carry crate of mineral for inside occasion.

We sef, fear no let us say kpim. Dem no dey tell person nau! If you see officers dey do like this, you sef go just know say if you put body, you go collect wotowoto. Na so we shut up our mouth, dey wait to see wetin dem go do Oga.

Them carry Oga go downstairs. Go front of our plaza, the side when cars dey park. One of the officers stand for the beginning of the car park. The other one stand for the end. They tell Oga make he begin do frog jump, from here to there; from one of them to the other. Oga begin beg. Na so one of them bring out koboko from im waist, viaaaa! I swear, the way the thing appear be like magic. Na taawaaii we hear once for Oga back. Sharp-sharp, Oga begin do the frog jump.

If you see person dey do frog jump, you fit think say nothing really dey inside, but something dey o! Ha! My brother, something dey!

Oga just dey do the frog jump, dey beg them. By this time, everybody for plaza don come outside, dey watch Oga. The officers just dey shout, dey tell Oga make he shut up, make he do fast, say he be ‘Bloody Civilian!’

Master Washer sef come out, go meet their boss, dey try reason with am. The man fold hand for back, dey watch him boys; he just bone face, lock-up like say he no know Master Washer before; like say no be him person dey follow talk.

Na so Oga do the frog jump o. Do am to the point when he come begin dey cry. Still, the officers no pity am. Them just dey shout for am, dey tell am make he continue. Oga just dey cry, dey do the frog jump as he dey cry. More people come gather the man, dey beg am make he mercy for Oga. The man still stand like Olumo Rock, he no answer anybody. For my mind, as I dey sorry for Oga, I just dey pray to God Almighty; say make He no ever let me see this kind thing.

After some time, e be like the man come dey satisfied, or maybe he just dey tired as plenty people dey him front, dey beg am. The man just signal him boys, tell them say e don do.

As them stop, quick-quick, na so some men for plaza rush go help Oga. Tears and catarrh just full Oga face. Oga no even fit stand up. Na the people when go help am, come raise am up.

~

Oga get one friend when be tailor like am. Na the man help us that period, come finish the four kaftans when Oga suppose deliver. 

The way when them take drill Oga that day, for like two days straight im whole body tell am. Na so im hand dey shake kehkehkeh; e no even fit put thread inside needle. And us when be Oga boys, our hand been never strong enough to sew kaftan.

After everything don finish, after the matter don end, Oga come begin carry face for Master Washer.

He say na Master Washer cause everything, say if to say Master Washer tell am who that customer be, he for no take work from im hand.

Me, I no think say Master Washer do bad thing sha. Him sef been no know say na so the matter go play out. But as Oga carry face for am, Master Washer, too, lock up, start to stay on im own.

Them no dey settle mature men when dey beef each other sha. When their two tire, na them go settle themselves by themselves.

That officer-man sef too do. Some people clothes don dey this our shop since last year, nobody don hear their voice for this plaza. I just feel say the man been wan show power, because he get power. Some people be like that for this world. Wicked people.

Nowadays sha, Oga don include new tactic whenever he dey talk to new customer. He go just use style ask the person, ‘So, what do you do for a living, sir?’

Make person no go carry work from person when go kill am.